OMG

Hey y'all ive been away forever, real world responsibilities are kinda sucky to say the least. I hope to be back and updating more often. I'm still soaping as much as possible on fact I actually have nothing on my shelf all my friends and co-workers have cleaned me out so needless to say I need to get back on the ball. I turned 30 last week and managed not to fall apart, I decided that this would be the year that sweetie and I look more into having a baby and the options that we have, hopefully we can handle the donor situation and have us a little bundle of baby. Well just a mini update I have to get ready to visit the plantation so we'll talk later chirren *smooches*

Happy two thousand and leven

Happy New Year I hope that a good safe time was had by all and we are looking positively to the future. Not much new yet in my new year but of course it is only 3 days old lol!. I made it through the holidays and no one was harmed, i realized my dads death is still a hot button issue with me and I have to start making some major changes in order to find closure. I started activly working on my quest to buying my own home. I've been crafting like a mad woman my co-workers have asked (ok maybe demanded) that I stop make soap for them as they have no room for anymore. I've decided this year I'm going to have to really make myself lookout for me first not always be on the run to save everyone, I want to be more of myself, I want to stop letting what others thinks about me dictate what I do so if I never twist my locs again I don't have to, maybe Once the leave the creamy crack alone I might give them a second glance. Well all I'm doing is rambling which is my favorite thing ever to do but I guess I better so something productive with myself tonight talk to you lovelies later



This is me typos and all love it or leave or.

pity

I always wonder if this will be the day that I finally just give up and end it all but fortunately i know that life has no reset button and whatever I do will pretty much be final. I really want to be one of those happy singing smiling people but unfortunately I am no i carry and hold on to to much pain to maneuver through it safely.

Being Me and being Nautral

Recently I've noticed that I have become more and more protective an defensive about being natural. I always find myself not wanting to post things online about being natural or how awful I think chemically straighting our hair is, for fear of offending people, when I really want to scream it from the rafters. My honest opinion is whether you think it or not holding on to your relaxed hair is subconsciously admitting that being who we are is not good enough for this world, this is the one thing that we as African American people have that no one else can have. Our hair texture is one of the few things that is uniquely us and what do we do? slap some crack on it and call ourselves presentable well ya know what FUCK your idea of presentable MY hair is NAPPPY KINKY and ALL me if that makes me less acceptable I'll take it. :)

Big and Beautiful the short version

I am so upset I had the most perfect 6page blog ready to post and I saved it on my phone cause it was one of those spur of the moment type deals and I lost it, which suck monkey b***s but anyway..... I was watching Tyra and she had overweight teen girls on and was giving them good eating habits and yadda yadda and I'm thinking to myself "self what does Tyra know about being the FAT girl in school" I wanted to jump through the TV. And sit each one of those young women down and let them know the only person that they should care about is themselves who cares if people make un of you, they don't define you, once you know that you are better than what they say you are their words won't be able to hurt you. High school is only for a short time and sometimes not all the time filled with asses so ignore them and hold your head up high, embrace and flaunt your curves because in. A few years all those who clowned during high school will wanna date you or be like you because you are comfortable in your body and comfortable. In your sexy. Big girls remember Embrace your Sexy , flaunt your curves, be healthy and be happy.

Happy Natural Hair Day!!!

For those Who are natural and on Twitter today is natural hair day so to all you Ladies and Gents I wish you a Happy Nappy Day!

Anywho just stopping in don't want to let this blog go to waste again< whats said about my whole blogging idea is that when i get the inspiration to share and be creative I get all shy and afraid of criticism, sometimes i don't think that i am the cut out to be a blogger. I wish there was a way to blog like i do in my journal cause on here no matter what i say or do i still feel the need to censor myself and that's not why i started this. I wanted to chronicle my loc journey my TTC journey but every time i have what i think is a decent blog post i change my mind and run away. I need an outlet i know that i do but somehow the transfer from plain ole pen and paper to this new fangled (at least to me) blog this just isn't working for me right now. But for now this will be a place of run-on sentence bad grammar horrible punctuations and whatever pops into my head and if you don't like it let me know that's better than nothing.

Hoping for better

Right now I feel emotionally drained and I'm really not sure why, it seems like this day so far has been just a roller coaster of emotions, one minute I'm up the next I'm down. I have faith that I will be better but I just cant take this nagging feeling of sadness. LORD grant me peace and strength because i know thorough YOU all things are possible.